Change the 4th sentence to read “The only way to succeed was if they didn’t show the mark that everyone in the room was anything but strangers.”
and change the end to “No, she couldn’t. Her hands had found the way. Crash.”
Seriously, six minutes is a difficult constraint to compose under. But afterward, my brain exploded with ideas. I wanted to model this story after Quantum Leap and have a duo try to escape different scenarios by finding objects or completing objectives. Maybe I should name the story exit, loop, or break. Something to that effect.
I’m lovin’ it.
EDIT: “Exit Condition”! I’ll call it “Exit Condition”.